A grandfather’s perspective

Adoption is not an alien word in our family. Infact, when my cousin brought home a sweet little girl after having followed a due process of adoption, we were totally thrilled. I still remember her first ‘adopted’ birthday celebrated with all fun and frolic and how ecstatic the child was with her new-found parents.

After nearly seventeen years since then, my daughter and son-in-law broached the subject and informed us of their intention to adopt. It came like a bolt from the blue and I was flummoxed for a while on how to respond or should we say react. It was a mixture of shock and disbelief. By default, the natural question that emerged from me was ‘why not your own’? My question generated another question instead of an answer. Why not adopt a child? Yes, why not, was my reply. So, it was I who asked the question and answered it myself.

Indeed the present generation has exploded many myths I have been entertaining about them on various issues. One such concern is adoption. I have been under the impression that this generation is gadget-friendly, fun loving, pretty intelligent, if not clever and cares a damn for the die-hard customs and traditions my generation is imbibed with. As a Lecturer for nearly four decades, I have had many interactions with students within and outside my area of specialization because life-lessons also become a part and parcel of information shared between the teacher and the taught. In the process, I learnt a lot from the youngsters more than I perhaps taught them.

I have also heard from many youngsters that they would adopt instead of bearing children. I now understand that a good number of couples do take wholehearted mutual decisions on adoption even prior to their marriage. Some reach an understanding that if at all they have two kids, one shall be adopted and the other a biological one, duly being aware of all the merits and demerits of such a proposal.

The tide is changing, indeed. Ethical doctors are advising childless couples not to fall prey to the gambles of fertility clinics and instead adopt those lovely kids yearning for parental love. My ‘Dear Pari’ has filled our lives with limitless love, affection, and happiness. Right from the day she arrived in our family, she became the lovely darling of friends and relatives, who make it a point to visit her without fail whenever she is in Hyderabad. The kind of love Pari gets from everyone makes me wonder whether it would have been any different if she arrived the other way. Definitely not. At the end of the day, there is no scope for any distinction if the child owns your heart; and children irrespective of how they bring alive our existence (adoptive or not), surely do.